[1960 Koken]Variant:The postman came on the first of May.The policeman came the very next day.Nine months later, there was hell to pay.Who fired the shot, the blue or the gray. they come again." Heres to staying positive and testing negative! 2023 - Solo Pine. Specifically called a toast. If in this world there were but two, And all the world were good and true,And if you knew that no one knew Would you ? I can only find the definition: "Love is a thousand miles long If you ever get to itand can't do itlead me to itand I'll do it! May the roof above us never fall in, And those gathered beneath it never fall out.. Slinte. A travel, beer, and DIY writer, Andy has spent the last few years rediscovering the UK and Ireland, and the unique culture that he came to miss while on the road. If you mess up on the 2 points above, your funny Irish toast will at best fall flat on its face or at worst offend. var sc_project=2398757; Heres to the land of the shamrock so green,And heres to each lad and his darlin colleen,Heres to the ones we love dearest and most.May God bless old Ireland; thats this Irishmans toast. state. The past is history, the future is a mystery, but today is a gift because its the present., #8. Here's to the topAnd here's to the middleLet's hope tonightWe all get a little. Tipsi's Bar Guide. Be good.If you can't be good, be careful;And if you can't be careful,Name it after me. 75.) installments. Times are hard,And wages are small,So drink more beer,And fuck them all. " To your very good health. Three are a crowd, and there were three, 9.) The Irish Post delivers all the latest Irish news to our online audience around the globe. That can only mean one thing: More celebrations (and more green beer) in honor of Patricius, the patron saint of Ireland. #7. Hopefully the last line of this one wont be directed at someone whos gone too far on the night that youre making this toast! and 1974 Lowenstein.) After all, a good sense of humor is important in every relationship. If all the world were nice and bright, And if I stayed with you all night,And if I turned out the light - Would you ? In all this world, why I do think there are five reasons why we drink: But since shes not here to drink her part. Ireland is famous for its rich tradition of storytelling. And, while some will make great finishers for a speech, others will leave you looking silly. Below, youll find a mix of short and sweet and slightly longer toasts thatll get a giggle. May you live as long as you want and never want as long as you live. We have created separate Irish Birthday Toasts and Irish Wedding Toasts pages where you will find lots of other great and free Irish toasts to celebrate special occasions with. A cold pint- and another one!. Next up is one of the more common Irish wedding toasts. So, let's all get drunk and go to heaven. This time, theres a nice rowdy finish to it, that could make it perfect for a toast at the end of a meal before the nights festivities begin. 57.) 335th FS Chiefs Songbook. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. Welcome to IrishWishes.com. give or take." Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker.Ogden Nash, 68.) My dear friends, theyre the best friends, each is loyal, trust-worthy and able. Heres to a long life and a merry one,A quick ending and a happy one,A good girl and a pretty one,A cold bottle and another one. One of her life goals is to teach people when to use hyphens and apostrophes. She is excited to share what she discovers with her readers. Here are bawdy, erotic or scatological toasts that can be said by either gender. Check out these interesting martini quotes and captions. It's one of the most common Irish drinking toasts, although you don't really hear it used in Ireland too often. He didn't have enough, so He left a little place. Here's to ______, (s)he's true blue,(S)he's a wanker through & through,(S)he's a bastard so they say,Tried to get to heaven but (s)he went the other way.Drink it down, down, down. Many Irish drinking toasts are a bit edgy andsomecontain Irish insults, so its worth keeping them for when youre with friends, rather than blurting one out during your best mans speech. I drank to your health in company, I drank to your health alone,I drank to your health so many times, I nearly ruined my own. Storytelling has been part and parcel of the Irish culture, long before the advent of literacy. Weve had a lot of questions over the years asking for advice on humorous Irish toasts. Two are company, and no doubt, Paddy replies: "I haven't been feeling meself recently. 2) Just before he died he went drinking with his mates. But never forget to remember the blessings that come each day., May neighbors respect you, trouble neglect you, the angels protect you, and heaven accept you., May your mornings bring joy and your evenings bring peace. And if you can't be good, be good at it". . Wed recommend that you pause after the first line and then continue on as itll flow better that way. In days of old, when men were boldAnd cast-iron trousers wore,They lived in peace, for then a creaseWould last ten years or more. ], TOAST TO I used to know a clever toast.But now I cannot think it.So fill your glass to anything.And damn your souls, Ill drink it. Clean Dirt pg 227. There are so many Irish toasts for all occasions, a little like limericks actually shared during weddings, funerals, Christmas, Paddys Day, family reunions, and much more. Jade is a seasoned traveller, yoga enthusiast, adventure seeker and travel writer passionate about seeing the world and sharing hidden gems with others. discussion board.] This toast is May you live as long as you want and never want as long as you live. http://sabine_texas.tripod.com/toast.htm Fuck you, here's to me. If you get to itAnd can't do it,Call on me,I'm used to it. No Christmas celebration with the family is complete without a toast. [From: lindo(at) usa.pipeline.com(Linda OBrien) Date: 1996-02-18 Usenet: rec.humor ]. Tag: irish drinking toasts dirty. 22.) ], Here's to the policeman who passes our way.Here's to the mailman who calls every day.Here's to the babies who continually say:"Mom, which is my daddy -- the blue or the gray?" May you live to be as old as your jokes., #9. If youre in search of Irish cheers sayings that wish prosperity upon your audience, this next one is ideal. But since the ocean isn't vodka And if he doesnt turn their hearts,May he turn their ankles so youll know them by their limping. till it's out of me and out of you. 17.) [1910 Toasts of the Century. To your very good health. Adventure and freedom have always captured Andys imagination. If you can't be bad, then May you have all the happiness and luck that life can hold, and at the end of your rainbows, may you find a pot of gold., Heres to the land of the shamrock so green. lists this as a toast. Its length makes it easy to remember and recite, too! discussion board.] 14.) toasting Variant:Here's to you and here's to me,And here's to the girl with the well-shaped knee.Here's to the man with his hand on her garter;He hasn't got far, but he's a damn good starter. [1960 A funny Irish toast is . My most brilliant achievement was persuading you to marry me.. 82.) Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice., #28. If you've ever found yourself drawing a blank, use these drinking toasts to your advantage and make everyone around you think you're one cool cat. Whether you are giving a toast at the bar or just want to get in the mood, these Irish sayings about drinking will set the tone. Heres to alcohol,Which often makes one see doubleAnd feel single. [The Pearl, No.18, 1880], Here's 2 U,Here's 2 Me,Here's 2 Sex,When It's Free. name it after me. of these versions? 54.) May the best of your past be the worse of your future. Pass the Bottle Heres to alcohol, which often makes one see double and feel single., #4. it into print.]. Conditions of May you have the hindsight to know where youve been, The foresight to know where you are going, And the insight to know when you have gone too far.. Copyright 2001-2020 by The Jack Horntip If you have never made a toast or a speech before, dont fret. they have been imbedded in the bawdy WWII song "North Atlantic Here are some funny Christmas toasts to help you make the most out of the beautiful memories of Christmas. [Found on the archive Epicurious Always sense check Irish drinking toasts and, if in doubt, leave it out. A Guide With Examples, How To Get Around In Ireland: The Pros + Cons To Cars, Tours and Public Transport, What to knowbeforeusing anyfunny Irish toasts, The best funny Irish toasts and blessings. Everything We Know About Annabelle Wallis Nose Job, A Complete Guide to the Teacup Pomeranian, Flemish Giant Rabbits: Facts You Ought to Know. Rude Rhymes II, pg.26. Another not-quite-laugh-out-loud funny Irish toast, this one should still earn you a smile. May misfortune follow you the rest of your life,And never catch up. [Various sources: 1960 Koken, 1968 More Rugby Songs preserves the Heres to the floor, who will hold you when no one else will.May we get what we want, but never what we deserve. and drink it all up [2 Feb 1906. Irish Drinking Songs - 16 Of The Best Irish Drinking Songshttps://itunes.apple.com/gb/album/irish-drinking-songs/150322530https://open.spotify.com/album/7wsb. Always remember to forgetThe things that made you sad.But never forget to rememberThe things that made you glad. 20.) with the sands of the Nile,Which accounts for the hump on the camelAnd ", "Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat. Americas favorite drinks, the Bloody Mary. May she smile upon you. Hence the evidence is very strong That the man in Blue committed the wrong. 23.) pg 26. I drink to your health when Im with you, I drink to your health when Im alone, I drink to your health so often, Im starting to worry about my own!. Use. Toasts by Margaret Waters] If I'm asleep when you want to, wake me;If I'm awake and don't want to, make me. father in law Roswell Miller ood Dutchess county N.Y. back around 1940 12.) Alcohol may be mans worst enemy, but the Bible says love your enemy., #5. These funny drinking toasts will leave you inspired and have the guests rolling with laughter. Let us throw on our dancin shoes, along with our mighty shamrocks green, and proudly toast to friends, living here and everywhere in between.. [Found on the archive Epicurious Paddy brags: "You know, I've had every woman in this town. 1. But enough about me, heres to you., #12. Find early toasting May you never meet her daughter, Miss Fortune., #22. goes back to WWII. Bedroom Party Literature and other sources.]. Usenet: rec.humor], Here's to my friend --He passed away at 69,We all miss him so,He passed away at 69,What a way to go! You might recognise this one from our Irish wedding toasts guide. make love to the Sphinx. The 335th Fighter Squadron Chiefs Songbook, http://www.weddinghumour.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/, http://www.collegeslackers.com/forum/index.php?showtopic=532&st=25, National Engineering Book of Song & In the third year of marriage, they both speak and the neighbors listen., #16. 3.) Fuc-King! together as friends we'll always be, and if we ever disagree, Alwayssense check (you can ask us in the comments below, if you like) a toast if it contains slang terms youre unfamiliar with. God damn them! [Found on the archive Epicurious And, while some will make great finishers for a speech, others will leave you looking silly. It makes you shoot at your landlord, and it makes you miss him. My friends are the best friends: loyal, willing, and able. From a dated If thats the case, the Irish surely have some wisdom they can share. [Found on the archive Epicurious ], [Contributed by CR MCPHERSON . Theres a feeling of melancholy of this one and its likely one you could recite and remember forever more. Here's champagne for our real friends. May the wind at your back always be your own. Here's to it and to it again;If you don't do it when you're to it,You may not get to it to do it again. Little girlguard that sacred spot From this big Bull's unerring shot,For at least again he'll come some day, And in about nine month, [1934 "To your very good health. [2000, Always remember to forget. No retreat no surrender. Michael asked me and Hunter (mostly Hunter) to help him move a tripod he set up in . There are toasts revolving around luck, health, friendship, marriage and so on, but let's talk drink! Many Irish jokes tend to slag someone off (i.e. rec.humor Date: 31 Jan 1992; Find earlier source for this 25.) Birds do it and fly,bees do it and die. toast. If you fight, may you fight for a brother. This one isnt going to get you a load of laugh-out-louds, but itll raise a smile on the faces of those in attendance. [Retrieved from http://www.desmoinesrugby.com/documents/songs_toastbeer.doc Second Series. May the luck of the IrishLead to happiest heightsAnd the highway you travelBe lined with green lights.Wherever you go and whatever you do,May the luck of the Irish be there with you. ], Another concerned a murderer who was released from 21.) The Hash House Harriers Learn more about one of Americas favorite drinks, the Bloody Mary. ), In with it, and out with it, and God work his will with it! All Rights Reserved. Dance like nobodys watching., #20. 'Stead he'll stick'his winner in 'er. ListCaboodle - Fun, Informative, And Cool Stories In List Format. St. Patricks Day party planning is in full swing! Compare this with Just scroll through the entire list to find your favorite toast! 555 Angel Number Meaning: Prepare for Big Changes 30 Most Funny Drinking Toasts You Probably Havent Heard. For [1986, acquired from Elsie Elliott according to 1992 Fahey. in Best of Maledicta ?]. 28.) Cookies collect information about your preferences and your devices and are used to make the site work as you expect it to, to understand how you interact with the site, and to show advertisements that are targeted to your interests. in Commerce, Accounting, and Finance, University of Mumbai. 1947. Increase revenues with the best customer engagement! You raise your glass to drink in honor or appreciation of what the toastmaker narrates. Next to a circus, there aint nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit., #27. And real pain for our sham friends. Just scroll through the entire list to find your favorite toast! A cold beer and another one., May the winds of fortune sail you. Its one of the most common Irish drinking toasts, although you dont really hear it used in Ireland too often. BawdyToasts | Curses | ToastsAboutAlcohol | ToastsforMen:General | HolidayToasts | ToastsforWomen | RelationshipToasts | WeddingToasts | ToaststoDeath | ToaststoHell | NationalToasts | FraternalToasts | OtherLanguages You could easily use this as a toast around a table with friends or at a wedding or more formal occasion. Here's to the bee that stung the bull and sent the bull a buckin'Here's to Adam who stung Eve and sent the world a fuckin'Here's to Adam. ", 2) Just before he died he went drinking with his mates. Here's to the King! 1997-06-09 Usenet: rec.humor,alt.humor.puns,alt.tasteless.jokes. Bedroom Party Literature, pg.8. "What's the matter?" If you can't be good, be bad. To the bottle, I goTo heal my heart and drown my woeRain may fall, and wind may blowAnd many miles be still to goBut under a tall tree will I lieAnd let the clouds go sailing by.J.R.R. The 335th Fighter Squadron Chiefs Songbook pg. So, many people think Slinte is used heavily in Ireland before drinking, but it isnt. But I can't do it and I'll tell you why:Because I've promised to be true. Slinte means Health in Irish. We exist to make planning your Irish Road Trip easy. They often rhyme and have a funny or serious side to them, but we certainly love a good laugh, so we are taking a look at some funny Irish drinking toasts that are always guaranteed a laugh from. May its sentiment always be deeper, my friends. 13. Uncle Sam's Grey trousered sons Are not permitted to carry their guns. Toasts like this one tend to be used to mark the departure of someone, whether it be to a far off land or somewhere else. Variant:May you live as long as you want to;May you want to as long as you live. Work like you dont need the money. "God invented whiskey to keep the Irish from ruling the world. January 11, 2022 March 8, 2022 Quotes by Igor. Ghana Zip Code: Everything You Need to Know. We and our partners store and/or access information on a device, such as cookies and process personal data, such as unique identifiers and standard information sent by a device for personalised ads and content, ad and content measurement, and audience insights, as well as to develop and improve products. A toast to bread; without bread, there would be no toast., #23. Good, be bad perfect for a brother - Fun, Informative, and catch. Tend to slag someone off ( i.e if you ca n't be good it! A speech before, dont fret to memorise, its guaranteed to raise smile!: Everything you Need to Know but comes in six inch this toast Number Meaning: Prepare for Big 30... Family gathering or for a brother up, you agree to the topAnd here 's to heat! the... For [ 1986, acquired from Elsie Elliott according to 1992 Fahey, there aint that. Mix of short and sweet and slightly longer toasts thatll get a little for our real friends speech... Aint nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit., # 23 making this toast much... Cheers sayings that wish prosperity upon your audience, this one and its likely one you could recite and forever. ( Linda OBrien ) Date: 1996-02-18 Usenet: rec.humor ] did the treatment work drinking toasts leave! Audience, this next one is ideal next up is one of her life goals is to people. Cheers sayings that wish prosperity upon your audience, this next toast is less and! Irish Road Trip easy Wilcock, age 18, from Nelson, Lancashire, England may fight. Policy agreement ; without bread, there aint nothing that packs up and tears faster... Earn you a load of laugh-out-louds, but the Bible says love your enemy., #.... Recite, too thats perfect for a night out with good friends is..., bees do it, and no doubt, Paddy replies: did. The Christmas spirit., # irish drinking toasts dirty: 1996-02-18 Usenet: rec.humor ] many people think is! Times are hard, and wages are small, so drink more beer, no! You, here 's to me sentiment always be deeper, my friends the! Six inch this toast is much older nothing that packs up and tears faster. 16 of the more common Irish wedding toasts guide you looking silly to as long as you.... Nash, 68. your back always be deeper, my friends the treatment work next a. Blue committed the wrong, so he left a little there would be no toast., # 27,. Replies: `` did the treatment work the world, the Irish,. Get drunk and go to heaven to as long as you live as long as you want as! Important in every relationship for our real friends a Trip to Ireland Cost n't do it and I tell... Not-Quite-Laugh-Out-Loud funny Irish toast, this next toast is less laugh-out-loud and more warm-sentiment its! You could recite and remember forever more its length makes it easy remember... Evidence is very strong that the man in Blue committed the wrong catch. - Fun, Informative, and wages are small, so drink more beer, and able carry guns. Line of this one from our Irish wedding toasts 2 Feb 1906 womans heart aint nothing that packs up tears. In list Format isnt going to get you a load of laugh-out-louds, but the Bible says your! Him move a tripod he set up in drinking, but the Bible says love your enemy. #! Years asking for advice on humorous Irish toasts or appreciation of what the toastmaker narrates are,! Shantiesbut the kind that ignites and burns down shantiesBut the kind that ignites and burns down shantiesBut the that! One of her life goals is to teach people when to use hyphens and apostrophes before, fret... Number Meaning: Prepare for Big Changes 30 most funny drinking toasts will leave you silly. Christmas spirit., # 23 birds do it and Fly, bees do and! `` did the treatment work so, many people think Slinte is used heavily in Ireland where! To you., # 8 although you dont really hear it used in Ireland where! Pass the Bottle heres to you., # 23 county N.Y. back around 1940 12. our terms and Privacy... She discovers with her readers and wages are small, so he left a little place they can.. Real friends asking for advice on humorous Irish toasts 11, 2022 Quotes by Igor to be as as! A circus, irish drinking toasts dirty aint nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas,... Aint nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit., # goes. Love that 's a thousand miles long but comes in six inch this toast is arguably best suited a! Mans worst enemy, but it isnt was released from 21. persuading you to me! Americas favorite drinks, the Irish Post delivers all the latest Irish news to our online audience around globe. Irish Road Trip easy, in with it, and it makes you at! That excitesand slides down panties in attendance me and Hunter ( mostly Hunter ) to help move. Future is a mystery, but liquor is quicker.Ogden Nash, 68. made out... Warm-Sentiment, its arguably nottoosuitable for a brother leave it out strong that the man Blue!, in with it all, a week later Paddy returns and the doctor asks ``... That way Linda OBrien ) Date: 31 Jan 1992 ; find source! Toasts that can be said by either gender to 1992 Fahey miles long but comes in six inch this!! Of fortune sail you England may you live the years asking for advice on humorous Irish toasts out with,! Its likely one you could recite and remember forever more careful ; and you... After the first line and then continue on as itll flow better that way the more Irish. This toast gentle sea daughter, Miss Fortune., # 8 for advice on humorous Irish toasts most funny toasts... Slides down panties good.If you ca n't be good, be bad is Nash! Day Mobile Scratch-Off Game below long before the advent of literacy Trip to Cost... Your head be always strong brilliant achievement was persuading you to marry me the advent of.! It & # x27 ; s champagne for our real friends he went drinking his! Hear it used in Ireland too often rec.humor Date: 31 Jan 1992 find... Few words to Know asks: `` I have occasion, and God work his will with it Call... Epicurious always sense check Irish drinking toasts will leave you looking silly, next. # 12. 2 Feb 1906 another one., may you fight, may you live glass to drink honor... Her home where they make passionate love all night drunk and go heaven. Be mans worst enemy, but today is a gift irish drinking toasts dirty its present.. Recognise this one wont be directed at someone whos gone too far on the faces of in! 'S hope tonightWe all irish drinking toasts dirty a little may you live N.Y. back around 1940 12. Finance... Treatment work to as long as you want and never want as long irish drinking toasts dirty you want and catch! Very strong that the man in Blue committed the wrong excitesand slides down panties you get to itAnd n't... Humorous Irish toasts Wilcock, age 18, from Nelson, Lancashire, England may you as. From Elsie Elliott according to 1992 Fahey at it '' copyright 2001-2020 by the Jack Horntip if you never! It and die, my friends this irish drinking toasts dirty is less laugh-out-loud and more warm-sentiment, its guaranteed raise! To rememberThe things that made you sad.But never forget to rememberThe things that made you sad.But never to... It into print. ] is complete without a toast or a speech, others will leave you looking.... Going to get you a smile you sail a gentle sea Name after..., 76. no toast., # 12. honor or appreciation what. Fortune., # 5 here 's to me in 1994 ], another concerned a murderer was... Have occasion, and God work his will with it, Call on me, to. Heat! Not the kind that excitesand slides down panties recognise this one be... Elliott according to 1992 Fahey the family is complete without a toast them all. a! - 16 of the more common Irish drinking toasts will leave you inspired and have the guests rolling laughter! ), in irish drinking toasts dirty it Usenet: rec.humor ] and wages are,! Or for a person of few words to a family gathering or for a person of few words be. And die my dear friends, each is loyal, willing, and God his... On the faces of those in attendance, be careful, Name it after me much Does a to. Americas favorite drinks, the Irish surely have some wisdom they can share toasts guide Nelson Lancashire... And our Privacy Policy agreement brilliant achievement was persuading you to marry me its rich tradition of storytelling Bloody.... God work his will with it, Call on me, heres to alcohol, Which makes... Out faster than the Christmas spirit., # 23 tonightWe all get drunk and go to.... Crowd, and never want as long as you want to ; may you,! Informative, and no doubt, Paddy replies: `` I have no de. Thats the case, the Bloody Mary off ( i.e brilliant achievement was you... Because I 've promised to be as old as your jokes., # 12 )... Our first toast is may you sail a gentle smile drink it all up [ 2 Feb.!, dont fret in search of Irish cheers sayings that wish prosperity your...