That to me just doesnt seem like it is the best way to go about things, but that is my opinion and I will respect yours. Saying that if you have good communication with her and can get a sense of her values maybe it can be worked out, I understand what you're trying to say, I think. Shadow Hunter-Stay in Touch. Take hold of completely forgiving her, and focus on only showing her the love she needs from you. Im not bitter, Im BETTER andin retrospect, I can say this: as a man, it is impossible for me to love a woman more than I trust her. Thing is, a mistake can cost you plenty in life jobs being one of them. although Ive had my fair share partners i dont like a woman who has. Now i think the man also has the right to either loke what u did or not If you arent proud of your number when I asked by a potential life partner, you could be a slut. You are right about the emotional attachment. Also Men sleeping around should be judged the same as Women sleeping around! you know like people. & many more results. Ive been with one man-my ex-husband. ! No, it was because you can just tell a person who has had a lot of sexual partners. If you cannot trust a woman then you cannot love her. Besides its a sinful lifestyle anyway. Official UCL 2023 Undergraduate Applicants Thread, TSR Community Awards 2022: Favourite Oldie - VOTING OPEN, Official King's College London 2023 Applicants Thread, Hertfordshire University Adult Nursing Interview Questions and Maths and English Test. Nothing wrong with not desiring a woman with a dicey past, but as I pointed out in my previous example, is that really worth walking away from a woman who has become a person that you love and have connected with? He laid His life down for you and for me that we would not have to be separated from him because of our sinful ways and mind sets. So lets say you meet a woman and start to date her. Thank you, Lord, for resurrecting from the dead. Your honor, Ive been arrested for those rapes which occurred 4 years ago. , I am asking you to state your sources. She told me one instance where she went to a party and simply grabbed some random guy there and went into a room with him to have sex, and she was fully conscious not drunk. Personally, I dont want to marry a woman who looks at sex like a man does, and acts the way a man does. And if he did, I would not be honest. Ive always been that way since I started having sex. Any person with more sex partners than years of life has an addiction and needs to be rehabilitated. You will feel that you left . I hold men and women to the same standard. Start this quiz to find your result. I believe it is completely dependent on the person and what they are looking for. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. A woman who has slept with 100 meninevitablyhas certain qualities of character, and inevitably has certain boundary issues, and inevitably has lower standards when it comes to who she allows access to her body. I totally agree with the double standards. But if you only had one burger, that one burger would be your set standard. That is what this article is really about. As simple as that, why be ashamed or beat yourself up over a number if numbers didnt define a hoe then her actions would. For example, marriage is beautiful union however,You can get married but,, marriage does not mean you are barred from temptation nor does it mean forever. However, all else being equal, women with more sexual partners are more likely to undergo a failed marriage. Dude dont date her you are judging her for her sexuality just leave the poor chick alone shes going to end up resenting you and feeling disgusted with herself because of your guilt trips and attempts to shame her for who she is. And that is with all else being equal. Deal with them. I understand where you are coming from but we do not agree on this topic. but that is just my opinion and I do love old fashion women, Id like to personally add my input as I am going through an exact situation with my current girlfriend. Just say you finnaly got a date, where would you go? However, he is a hard-working and rich man. The reason is that education and being over age 25 when first married are negatively correlated with divorce. I dont really care how many people she has been with within reason, however I do want to know what I am dealing with, and I would like to know whether she would be completely honest with me, IF I DESERVED IT! I feel like my bf doesn't love me anymore and it scares me. One of the reasons I think it makes me feel like shit is because the girls that I missed out on lost interest in me for better guys, guys that know how to get laid I hated those guys, and those are the kind of guys that have been with my wife just imagining it makes me feel sick, to think shes fucked some hot shot big dick whos probably fucked 100 other chics anyway and just adder her to his belt. Yet that does not change the fact higher numbers is not a guarantee that the woman you see before you today isnt at a place in life where she can be best suited for you. By that point, Hucknall had apparently slept with . I see what you are saying with the correlation, and it does make a lot of sense. You GO GIRL! they are the last person to even go there! Men, if you think a woman sleeping with 10. The divorce rate in the US has been declining since 1982 along with the marriage rate, and cohabitation is a big reason for it. It is what it is, but the most important part is your STD FREE!!!!! Think about this: There was a girl in college who was the self-proclaimed whore of our department. Who you allow inside yourself matters. Good luck!! Regardless what women think or how women seal most men would never accept or be comfortable with their mate havent slept with 30/100,000,000 in her lifetime. It is simply saying that when a man comes across a woman who has had this kind of past that judging her based solely on that is in my opinion not the best approach for determining if she really is the woman for him. Im 25 and have been with at least 20 different partners however that number does not define my character. Personally, my vengeance on society telling me what to think about sex is to have as much of it as I can. If it didnt matter, women wouldnt get offended when you ask. I'm not sure how many guys she has slept with partially because I feel like asking that question is a sign of insecurity and I'm trying to avoid showing I'm insecure about it as well as being terrified by what the answer could be. Every partner you have in your lifetime affects you whether is positive or negative so if a person man or woman goes through so many People Theyre going to have a lot baggage. She might have sexual preferences or desires that she has been too afraid to bring up in conversation. Means mentally you are stronger. If you two currently do not agree on those things, by all means walk away. It seriously takes two to tango and this double standard business needs to stop. Before she told you the number and after she told you the number she is still the same woman you fell in love with. Sex is purely pleasing, its not emotional for me. I wouldn't stress it so much had I not have something to compare her to. If someone girl or guy has cheated before they will probably do it again and that is not worth risking. So If her numbers are that high, tyou would move out of town to avoid her many past lovers? Women did not have the choices they have now and had to abide with the double standard imposed on them. If youre honest more than likely you wouldnt. Good for you dear, Im happy for you, and your relationship, but the fact is, the more partners a woman has had, the less likely her marriage is to last. for their partners. As well, it is simply shameful to have such low standards as to have slept with dozens of people. Its not like they grew up thinking they will screw as many guys as they can, get married, and live happily ever after. Actually the fact that she has been with a few guys before settling down makes me feel special to be the chosen one. Altamera74, from a chicks point of view, you are going to end up a very sad and lonely man if you take that sort of attitude into your life when it comes to choosing a partner. I agree that at the core, this issue stems from control. Now lets imagine you want to buy a car and you go to the dealership and you see a car that you really like and the salesman tells you that the car that you feel is so beautiful and would make such a great addition to your life has 289,832 miles on it (NOTE: before the comments flow in about what if the car only had one previous owner, which Id be more than happy to discuss, for the sake of this article this is only to focus on the number of miles). has slept with. Ask any man if he wants to marry a woman who They're your property. Itz never been ok for them. That is one source, directly addressing the issue. So the past could be the the reason they have a story to tell. What is more important than the number is why. have the ability to make the best choices for herselfimpulse control a man after sex, and not valuing her as the woman she is inside. LOL. We all have a past & lol about the wear & tear comment. If you feel that this is the case, maybe consider whether it is fair for her to have you in her life. How detailed you can get depends on how much your lover can take. He did this by washing His disciples feet and telling them to do likewise. At this point a # seems like the least of my worries. while, recklessly, and if I crash? And there you have it. If youknow your man is secure, then why wouldnt you tell him the truth? Ive never gone out just looking for sex, and I prefer to feel connection with someone. . If you love the chick it doesnt matter. He is the Lion and the Lamb. If shes cheated on 8 of her previous boyfriends then Im sorry but I think its valid to question her loyalty. You can go on and on about how oh men are sluts!! Her sexual promiscuity or lack there of does not control control his actions or level of respect. We women are more than what is between our legs. But everyone is entitled to their own opinion. In my line of work I have seen that more times than not there is something deeper going on that has led to that woman taking that route. This is a common question on all first dates; keeping more information private saves more hearts and feelings. I totally agree! If i come up to you and say, hey wanna fuck ? A bit extreme. Think about if we applied such a infantile No one wants a beat up dick either. Whether youre male or female, I dont think its fair to be judged on how many partners youve had. I wouldnt. That just tells men you will move onto the next best thing when it comes to you. Im also pretty sure she wants to be with me and nobody else at this pointon top of the fact that shes cried in front of me and feels super ashamed. How many people have you slept with, Neighbor? Men are dogs, they will stick their dong in anything with a heartbeat if its offered. No one wants to date a girl thats been ran through. Anyway, enough of that. Not a good example. I agree that we should know our partners past so that we may have a better understanding of who they are today. Not saying its right for a man to walk away, but there are women who dont even tell the presumptive father of their pregnancy status. 9. Women can sleep with men to get what they want and then dump them. Just because some girls have girlfriend and some compromise that all sleep. Text can be very ambiguous. Lol youre an idiot. ive slept with 14 guys and im still tight and ocasionally asked if im a virgin. Dont like what men expected of women to even consider them as wife & mother to their children? Men always have an ideal and fantasize; women are guilty of that as well, but b/c of societal conditioning, we accept this double-standard. But she was still a really nice lady, and from what I hear pretty good at sex. So I completely understand where you are coming from and again I think it is a very good arguement. For example, if your Cheers for the educuation, random 17-year-old. These women get raped abused and have stupid parents who dont pay close enough attention when raising little girls. Yes, there's a big difference. Women lie about their past(and men know it) and Men in turn lie about love and marriage . and it goes on. I would encourage you in the future to make your statements in a mature and respectful manner. You have married couples who though they love each other, they do not fully know, understand, and embraced the needs of the other. Men are not biologically and genetically programmed to want to share their women. I do feel that there are always exceptions the rule and we should seek further understanding if willing. I agree with that statement, I do not agree that this is due to a high number of sexual partners. you may have some serious issues and I would say that its too many. Granted, I still think one should be cautious when deciding to pursue a relationship with someone who has a promiscuous past, making sure that that phase of their life is over. In short 90% women fell under this category. You can say no, no, no as much as you like and deny up and down till youre blue, but that still doesnt get the idea about a woman, out of a mans mind. https://psychcentral.com/lib/2012/the-myth-of-the-high-rate-of-divorce/all/1/, https://www.slate.com/articles/double_x/doublex/2011/10/what_s_your_number_do_women_still_fret_about_the_number_of_peopl.html, https://www.jstor.org/discover/10.2307/3600089?uid=3739448&uid=2&uid=3737720&uid=4&sid=21102211994521, https://atheism.about.com/od/atheistfamiliesmarriage/a/AtheistsDivorce.htm, Men Like A Challenge: Should You Play Hard To Get, The 5 Foods To Get Your Man In A Better Mood, 3 Keys To Creating Better Business Relationships, 12 Ways To Turn Her On Without Touching Her. Its not about the sex. She has been open about her past, but not completely, shes just gives all the ideal answers youd expect if someone didnt want to hurt your feelings. You have people like me who respect your choice and who understand what you are going thru. The thing is this is just the word I decided to use and I don't have a problem with a girl sleeping with a lot of people in general I'm worried about dating somebody like this and what it's effects could be. If she chooses to sleep with all 10 men that makes her easy. The summary in red pill logic is a girl who has slept around a lot will have a lot of emotional issues and will end up cheating on you. Respect her wants and needs, respect her goals, her hopes, and her plans for her future. I will say that we all are entitled to our own opinions, but when those opinions are based in judgment and primitive prehistoric double standards, that makes your opinion INVALID. Personally I believe that everyone should date whoever they want. I have sex because it feels great, no matter Who its with. spoken likea girl who has slept with a lot men. Well written article. Aside from STDs, I don't see anything worth mentioning. In a romantic sense any woman who sleeps around is unattractive to me. Tell that to employers who are hiring new employees. So what do men typically like? Well, I am going to speak from experience here. Life is short. Hm why is it that a woman can have sex with 50 men and have all of them ejaculate in her and expect possibly only 1 life in the world in a year AND NOT KNOW WHO THE FATHER IS! toss out the American System of justice including the very notion of If I was looking for a Woman, I DO care about her past, and she should care about mines. There are many women who dont give it up and are still disrespected by men they go out on dates with, even if they look good on paper. To me there was no perfect guy except for in fairy tales and even then some of the princes had problems. I agree I have learned it had more to do with how I was raised,I am a better person today. Me personally I know everyone does things they are not proud of but if i meet someone that has the potential to be the one why not at least get to know them and consider giving them a chance no one on this earth is flawless and perfect but its up to us to have a clear mind and not let the things mess up something that could be special. Thanks for sharing! Inability to cope with stress, lack of problem solving skills, and an unwillingness to compromise would be the most likely culprits in such a situation. Instead, he should feel the love and respect she has for him. I guess people arent supposed to want what they want out of a person or relationship. Pregnancy. Especially when random names pop up, she still associates with them, and 80% of her male friends have been with her. This is how I feel. But as woman I would be ashamed to pass by and guys keep saying that I slept with her, oh and me2.. Report. I think a long period of live-in followed by a late marriage (girl around 32) would be effective insurance against separation in the future. Its like seeing a movie, all is in the past. Dont be fooled by the celebrity divorces which seem quick and fast. I also had trouble trusting guys when they would tell me how they felt or saying that they were only with me because I knew or at least I thought that when they werent having sex with me they had it elsewhere. I AM SORRY, IT IS DISGUSTING TO THINK ABOUT A WOMEN WHO HAS LET MULTIUDES OF MEN DEFILE HER BODY. I still disagree with your overall position on the matter. Sleeping with a lot of people says something about ones character. I have a 13-year-old daughter. I have kind of a surprisingly high body count. The vagina is made to accommodate different sizes. Xper 5 Age: 23. Both come back to screw men. I have yet to meet a woman that has had more than 50 sex partners and was in a solid, healthy, balanced, loving relationship. And women can go a long way in updating the image of women in society. Life. I see a lot of people replying to this kinda rudely, which I understand. Choosing a good partner can have a major impact on your well-being. For me it was a shock should I care? Part of that process takes proper communication. I told him his past is of no value to me as i love him and accept him for who and wht it has made him today and i just dream of a beautiful future and will work hard to make it work. As promiscuous as men are! But when the person they are today is not consistent with the person they once were, why would you choose to give the past more credibility? Well that is the same than saying that a woman who cheat should not confess of course if the husband does not find out they could live happy for ever but the problem come that it is living a lie in both cases if the husband would have know the truth about the person they are living with probably would have not chosen to live with this person and that is the weight that the cheating/laying woman have to take with her for her whole life nor to say the fear of being caught. It's more likely that my comments are going to garner negativity but I think it's good to have a healthy view on such things. Promiscuous men are notoriously psychopathic, selfish, and extremely narcissistic with a lot of emotional baggage. Maybe you feel that when she is in a relationship with you, she will be able to have sex with others because sex doesn't necessarily mean that she is in a 'serious relationship' but it does for you? Im seeing this guy and hes super hesitant bc he doesnt know the exact # of people I have been with. It will all be fake just to keep the sex around. For example, are you afraid you won't be good enough and she'll leave, breaking your heart? I have sex like a man. If you find someone that loves you, supports you, and that you love and aregenuinely happy being around dont let the number of sexual partners that person has had force you to leave someone who was perfect for you. And guess what, people arent always completely open and honest or even aware of who they really are when they are beginning to date someone. intimacy enough. The way i look at this, is it shouldnt matter how many partners she has. I dont feel, I KNOW that there is a double standard at play. And i was the very faithful one by the way which meant nothing to that loser Ex wife of mine at one time. Lets say it was you in their spot. BUt i loved him so much i would have worked on the problem along with him, supported him if he was ready to move forward. In The Bible also JESUS is calling people to LOVE, because LOVE hides our unperfections and we can still have a great relationship without being like every Tom Dick and Harry, but like JESUS. Now i Can see why many of us Good Guys Cant meet a Good woman anymore today. At the end of the day, I dont want to ever sleep with another man besides my boyfriend. /Especially/ when choosing a mate. And she is the perfect wife! If my friends or people mention hey, that girl your with, my mates have hooked up with her multiple times, shes a bit of a slut. I can only hope altamera74 read your reply. Even though men have the choice too without fame a lot of money a social status its a losing battle. Trust me, there are men married to or in a relationship with women they think has had very few sex partners, when in reality the numbers are much higher than he will ever know. Dude, you better check yourself before you mess yourself! Any person with an abnormally high or indiscriminate number of partners either values sex too micah (must have it, with whoevers around) or too little (sharing one of lifes most intimate moments with any ol body). We should strive to be righteous. It means women can never have freedoms to make decisions at all. Settle down with what she can. Poll your male friends and see how many of them dream of settling down and building a family with a slut. One wished the best for me. Also, as far as men losing their home, assets, and children, the flip side of double standards is that it ends up being the mothers responsibility to care for their children and because women either didnt make the same amount during the marriage or she was a stay at home Mom, the assets built during the marriage end up being awarded to her. good to remind your lover that it was in the past and you cant change it. Nowadays, everyone is playing games, and everyone will lose. If she has habits of responding to one night stands, chances are she will give into temptation when your back is turned. So I went out into the world thinking that everyone just wanted to enjoy themselves and be happy but I was so wrong. I completely understand where you are coming from. Marriage is a serious commitment intended to last a lifetime. *if you admit to regrets* which is the biggest of your life. So importantly, we must take issue with the prevalent image of women as prudish and disinterested in sex. For me I think that was the last straw I noticed myself, not eating, and being depressed I seeked out councelling and it was determined that this double standard, combined with verbal abuse over 9 years has made me clinically depressed..She has had councelling too now and is resolving all the damage previously caused by her previous encounters. There is nothing psychologically wrong with us nor do we need help. Sounds like a double standard to me. And I really dont care if you feel sorry for me or not. The football team stars and the guys who acted in movies were on that list. The things you seem to believe and the things youre worried about come from a place of toxicity! A girl that has been around the block is going to have a much harder time finding a man to agree to spend the rest of his life with her. Required fields are marked *. For instance a girl had sex with 20 men(but we dont know numbers) and they were all her boyfriends then in that case she wouldnt be a hoe. This is why a woman can get almost any guy to have sex with her but men have to work at getting a woman to agree to have sex him. One can only act so long before the truth comes out. Not all of those events are going to be good in retrospect, but not all will be bad either. The only difference between a 50 yr old with 1 partner and a 50 yr old with 20 partners is how long it took to find the right person. If her vagina still makes you come who cares how loose or tight it is. Its not about allowing women to act similar to men, but simply to not judge women who may have had a promiscuous past. The biggest problem I have with marrying who has had past sexual relationships, I waited for her, but she didnt wait for me. I was totally promiscuous in the years between my junior year of high school and my first year and a half of college, sleeping with as many men as would opportunity present, which came to total around eight. of your own lifestyle before you start handing out nasty questions or comments such as the one above. I feel sorry for whoever marries the likes of you. But since sex is expensive for women, she gets to choose. The funny part is research shows it has always been about the same, it was just that Women were able to hide it better. so should that man walk away from her now just based off of him finding out a specific number despite the fact that how she is today makes him a happy man. Tighter in actuality isnt always better. I just want men to explore a different perspective on this issue. I can tell how angry I made you, and your calling of names is cute, but unnecessary. You need to take a step back and figure out why you hold onto this outdated and unhealthy view of sexuality before you're in any place to be in a relationship, sexual or otherwise. That is precisely why He came to to do what we couldn't do for ourselves. If you are afraid to admit how many men you have been with then its obvious you are ashamed of it. Numbers is a hugh factor when it comes to a woman because they do make the ultimate choice yes or no. Hint: your feelings about her past experiences aren't about her, but about you and what you imagine you see. So when a woman just gives it away for free rather than making men work for it, she is viewed in a less favorable light. When they should love e themselves. Some religions cut off womens sensitive parts so that she will NOT experience pleasure. someone to come along and love you for who you are? See I do not expect for anybody to be with someone that does not share some of the same core values that they have. Men are perfectly within their rights, when choosing a mate to spend the rest of their lives with and mother their children, to choose a women who is not only kind and intelligent, but also has not lived a life full of promiscuity and whorish behavior. Some may argue that it speaks to her character. So a man can use that as a measuring stick all he wants, but the reality is he may forever be getting false data. I think we should always evaluate the individual for who they are right now. This is still me How about judging a woman by her mind, her intelligence and her kindness? I understand that women will drop you in a heart-beat these days and that relationships are just a way to pass the time until we can trade up, but as someone who has already made that mistake once, you should be prepared to prevent it the second or even third time around. Personally, the number of guys dated doesnt equal number bedded. for adults. So they choose the wrong mate, get married, have children and are miserable. Folks need to grow up and kill all the judgement as if they are walking perfection. If she got pounded by 25 guys by age 25, whats to say shes not going to get pounded by another 2 guys a year even in a relationship for the next 10 years?

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